Self care is a broad term that encompasses a wide variety of practices. It includes activities that promote your physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health.
It doesn’t always mean getting your nails done or taking a bubble bath, but can include things like cooking healthy meals (even the meditative practice of it) or learning how to set personal boundaries.
1. Practice self-compassion
A large component of self care is having compassion for yourself. This may look like prioritizing your mental health, changing negative self-talk, journaling, and even physical gestures (like rubbing your hands together or massaging yourself) that release oxytocin and can help change your biochemistry.
For example, you can try writing a letter to yourself from the perspective of an imaginary friend that offers unconditional love and acceptance. You can then reread it when you are feeling down.
Research has also shown that being kind to yourself is associated with a sense of authenticity. This means you are less likely to feel threatened by other perspectives or worldviews. This is important for being able to explore new ideas, because it reduces the fear of being wrong.
2. Practice self-compassion for others
People often have a hard time believing that self-compassion works, especially if they’ve been beating themselves up for years. But Germer says that if their current strategy isn’t helping, they might just need to give it a try.
Leading self-compassion researcher Kristen Neff suggests three components of the concept: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. She explains that people who are self-compassionate treat themselves with the same compassion they might offer to a friend in trouble or a pet in pain.
When you’re feeling low, think of what a good friend would do for you in your current situation. Maybe you could call them or watch a funny video (you might even want to build up a “laughter library” for those tough days). Or, you could do something as simple as taking a warm bath.
3. Practice self-compassion for yourself
The research on self-compassion is clear: Those who are kind to themselves have greater health and wellbeing. Self-compassion is also associated with healthy behaviors like eating well, exercising and seeing a doctor.
Self-compassion is a form of positive self-talk that provides a different perspective on your own experiences. It involves replacing harsh, critical thoughts with gentle, comforting ones. It is also recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and that you are not the only one who has felt a certain way about something.
Practicing self-compassion can be challenging, especially if you are used to hearing your inner critic. Taking it slowly is a good idea. It’s also helpful to have a toolbox of practices that can be drawn upon when you need to practice.
4. Practice self-compassion for your environment
Self care is a multifaceted practice that includes many different strategies that support physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. It can include hygiene, eating healthy, recreational activities, seeking professional help when needed, and more.
It can also mean removing the stressors from your life that deplete your energy, such as a social media detox or limiting your time at work. In addition, it can involve practicing mindfulness to help you recognize when your stressors are beginning to take a toll and then taking steps to ease those stresses before they cause full-blown burnout.
The most important thing to remember is that your self-care activities should leave you feeling relaxed and energized. If you’re not getting those feelings, it’s time to try something new. The good news is that there are many self-care options that can fit into any budget and schedule.
5. Practice self-compassion for your health
Every person develops coping strategies to deal with life’s stressors. It is important to recognize those healthy and unhealthy coping strategies and to replace the bad ones with better ones.
Self-compassion is a way of treating yourself kindly and fairly, especially during times of stress or suffering. Self-compassion helps you avoid kicking yourself when you’re down, which prolongs stress reactions and makes it harder to bounce back from setbacks. Instead, treat yourself like you would a friend who was having a tough time.
Practices that can be used to practice self-compassion include mindful meditation, a compassionate imagery exercise (picture yourself cuddling with a baby deer or kitten), and journaling. There are also many self-compassion courses available online. These are typically eight weeks long and are taught by experts in the field.