How to Save Your Marriage by Making Positive Decisions

Whether your marriage is on the rocks or stable, you can save it by making positive decisions. Small changes in communication and attitudes can have a significant effect.

Obviously, there are some marriages that can’t be saved. An affair, addiction, or excessive anger are deal-breakers. However, many marriages can be saved with simple steps.

1. Prioritize your relationship

It can be easy to put your own personal goals, interests, and career before your relationship. This can be a necessary and even a healthy thing to do, but it’s important to remember that you need to prioritize your partner’s feelings and hopes in order for the marriage to thrive.

When you focus on making your relationship a priority, you make sure to spend time together daily (even if it’s just for a few minutes). You also try to set aside your phones and other distractions when you are spending time with your spouse. It can be hard to do this in today’s world of constant “white noise” but it is essential for a happy, healthy marriage.

Another way to prioritize your marriage is by supporting each other’s goals. This can be something as simple as encouraging your partner to pursue their dreams, or it can be more involved like helping them find a job or schooling for a new career. When you show that you care about their goals, it can give them the motivation to keep working towards them, and it will help build a strong foundation for your marriage.

You can also prioritize your relationship by focusing on the small things, such as giving your spouse attention and noticing their needs. This can be as simple as a little touch or a kind word. It can also be as big as taking them out on dates or planning special events for them. By making a conscious effort to prioritize your marriage, you can save it from the brink of disaster. This is a long-term commitment that requires dedication and intentionality, but the reward is worth it.

2. Communicate openly

The first step in saving your marriage is communicating openly. This means setting aside time each day to talk about your feelings and discuss any issues you might be having. It also means listening to your partner and being willing to change.

If you’re struggling to communicate effectively, try a couples counseling service. These professionals can help you work through your problems and find solutions that will improve the quality of your relationship. In addition, they can teach you techniques to keep communication lines open during stressful situations.

Another way to improve your communication is to share good news with each other regularly. Studies have shown that people who share positive events with each other are more satisfied in their marriages than those who don’t. Try sharing something happy with your spouse each evening, and make sure you’re truly listening to them. This can go a long way toward improving your marriage.

Finally, it’s important to avoid using words like “always” or “never.” These phrases can put a lot of pressure on your partner and lead them to feel defensive. Instead, use “I think” or “we might.” These words are more likely to open up a conversation rather than close it down.

Although saving a marriage may seem impossible, it is possible in many cases. However, some marriages are beyond repair and may need to end. If your marriage is in trouble, it’s important to take steps to save it as quickly as possible. Otherwise, you could be leaving yourself and your children in a world of pain and sorrow.

3. Listen to your partner

Often, when couples are struggling, it’s easy to think that they can save their marriage by simply working harder at communicating. However, the best way to improve your communication is to listen to your partner.

It’s important to take time away from your devices and distractions to give your spouse a chance to express their thoughts, emotions, and feelings. It’s also important to avoid interrupting and judging them. This will allow you to truly hear what they’re saying and understand their perspective.

When your spouse is expressing a concern, try to find ways that you can agree with them. Even if you think they’re overreaching or haven’t thought things through, there’s usually at least a nugget of truth to their problem. If you can identify that, it shows your spouse that you’re listening and care about them.

Negative feelings can trigger people to get defensive, so it’s important to try and stay calm when your spouse is expressing their frustration. If you’re able to listen without a fight, it can help to restore some of the trust and love that may have been lost.

Your spouse might bring up that you haven’t been a good listener in the past. If so, be sure to acknowledge that this is a skill you’re trying to develop and ask them for feedback on how you can become a better listener. This will help you overcome obstacles in your marriage and ensure that the two of you are on the same page. It will also make it easier to communicate about sensitive topics. For example, if your spouse brings up that they are considering separation, you can respond by letting them know that you respect their decision and that you will support their choice.

4. Take time for yourself

Saving your marriage is a joint effort that requires time and dedication from both individuals. In the meantime, you should take time for yourself to re-discover what makes you happy and to give your spouse space. Doing so will help you feel more empowered and able to work through challenges that may arise.

Taking time for yourself can also be a great way to communicate to your spouse that you are not neglecting their needs or that they are not your main priority. If you find that your partner feels like you are not giving them enough time, talk about it and try to reach a compromise. For example, if you’re working late, offer to go to a movie with them afterward instead of just going home alone.

Some couples struggle with issues that cannot be resolved by talking it out with one another alone. In these cases, a marriage counsellor can be useful in providing a perspective that is often hidden from both parties. In addition, a therapist can help couples increase effective communication skills, address gridlocked conflicts and develop interventions and strategies that will improve their conflict management skills.

A therapist can also help couples examine their roles in the marriage and identify potential issues that are contributing to its breakdown. For instance, some couples find that their differing viewpoints on life goals and lifestyle choices have become an impasse. In this case, a counselor can help the couple explore reasonable compromises that will work for both parties. By addressing these differences, couples can re-establish their bond and save their marriage.

5. Ask for help

When your marriage is in crisis, it can feel like there’s no hope. But, despite what your spouse might tell you, there’s still a chance to save it. You just need to know how. Start by taking a step back and evaluating your relationship. Ask yourself if you’re both willing to put in the work. If one of you wants to save the marriage, but the other doesn’t, it’s unlikely that it will turn around without some real effort from both parties.

If you’re both willing to make some changes, it might be time to talk to a therapist. This is a great way to work through your problems and build trust. You might also want to consider attending a workshop for married couples in crisis, such as A New Beginning. These workshops can help you reconnect and get the tools you need to rebuild your relationship. They have helped over 75% of couples who attended them save their marriages.

It’s also important to remember that you can’t change your partner, but you can work on changing yourself. For example, you might try to be more patient and empathetic. This can help you avoid arguing and build trust. You can also try to focus on the positive aspects of your marriage and make more time for fun activities together.

It’s also a good idea to stop talking about divorce. This can be a huge turn-off for your spouse, and it might make them feel like you don’t care about saving the marriage.

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